


Convoluted Disguises It Is

by Cartadwarfwithaheartofgold (manka)



Series: How to Win a Losing Hand: One-Shots from the Love Story of Varric Tethras and Maria Cadash (Canon Dragon Age Setting) [15]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Viscount Varric Tethras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26186899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manka/pseuds/Cartadwarfwithaheartofgold
Summary: Varric and Maria sneak into the kitchens for a late night snack, even if doing so scandalizes the staff.
Relationships: Female Cadash/Varric Tethras, Female Inquisitor/Varric Tethras, Maria Cadash/Varric Tethras - Relationship
Series: How to Win a Losing Hand: One-Shots from the Love Story of Varric Tethras and Maria Cadash (Canon Dragon Age Setting) [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896694
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Convoluted Disguises It Is

Maria slammed her glass onto the solid wood table, eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed. “That’s it!” 

Varric paused in the action of putting a bite of scrambled eggs in his mouth, taking in Maria’s brightening face. They sat in the cavernous empty kitchen at a table, Varric felt sure, not even the servants ate at. It bore the marks of butcher knives, burns from where hot pans had been sat down carelessly. The busy work of running a kitchen that fed hundreds. 

At this hour of the night, nobody stirred in the keep. Which meant, when Maria decided she wanted eggs, the damn Viscount himself went down to make them. Half their little meal remained on Maria’s plate, her ale drained while she picked her fork up and waved it in the air. “I know how to get into Aveline’s store cupboards.” 

Varric put his own fork down on his plate and placed his elbow on the table, smiling warmly at Maria’s enthusiasm. She was exquisitely rumpled, from her mused scarlet locks to his tunic hanging off one of her slim shoulders, revealing tantalizing freckled skin. She’d rolled the sleeve up haphazardly on her missing arm, but for the first time in a long while, she seemed to have forgotten all about it. 

“Right.” He played along. “How is this different from all the other times you’ve figured out how to break into Aveline’s store cupboards?” 

“No, listen, hear me out.” Maria tapped her fork on the plate. “All we need is some really good disguises.” 

He chuckled. “Excellent idea, Princess, but you’re a bit smaller than average for the guard.” 

“A short joke?” Maria asked in between bites of her eggs. “That’s a low blow from _you,_ Varric.” 

“I have an alternate suggestion. For the store cupboards.” Varric smirked and drummed his fingers on the old wooden prep table. Maria sighed, rolled her eyes to the stone ceiling above them. “You could, you know, just _ask_ for the key. As the Viscountess.” 

“That’s not as much fun and you _know_ it.” Maria accused. 

“Convoluted plans it is.” Varric sighed, watching her smile curl around her lips. “What kinda disguises do we need?” 

Maria opened her mouth to answer, but they were both interrupted by a tiny, paralyzed squeak from the door. They both looked to see a young woman, rubbing sleep from her eyes, staring at the two of them like she’d just walked into the fade itself. 

“My… milord, milady.” She dropped into a hasty curtsy. “I… I didn’t expect…” 

“Well, if you’re awake, we’ve certainly missed our bedtime.” Varric inserted smoothly, standing quickly from the table. “Maria?” 

“Coming.” She chirped brightly, placing her fork on her plate and slipping off the chair. She tossed a wink at the girl as Varric wrapped his arm around her waist, whisking them both quickly out of the kitchen. 

“That poor girl.” Maria laughed as they darted up through the dawn pinkening the windows. “Nobody is _ever_ going to believe her.” 

Varric stroked the gentle curve of Maria’s stomach under his tunic as they walked, feeling so happy he was almost dizzy with it. “No. No they won’t.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Do you like dwarves? Me too! Check it out at [@cartadwarfwithaheartofgold](http://cartadwarfwithaheartofgold.tumblr.com)


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